A Venal Journalist Among Venal Journalists

May 15, 2009

journo-kit.jpg

As the row over MPs’ expenses intensifies, we take a look behind the scenes at a leading Sunday newspaper’s editorial conference.

Editor: Who have we got for the weekend?

Chief News Reporter: Gordon Brown.

Editor: Excellent!  What’s he been claiming for?

Junior Reporter: Election lessons.

Editor: Really?

Junior Reporter: Yes.

Editor: What do mean, election lessons?

Junior Reporter: Sorry, I meant elocution lessons.

Editor: Really? I always thought he spoke reasonably well, save for that strange thing he does with his lower lip. It’s as if his chin is trying to absorb it.

Junior Reporter: Actually, I’m joking. We haven’t got anybody.

Editor: How much are you paid?

Junior Reporter: That’s no one’s business but my own.

Managing Editor: Actually, it’s not. It’s the editor’s business, and it’s my business, too.

Editor: What’s he paid?

Managing Editor: £72,000.

Chief Feature Writer: That’s more than me!

Special Supplements Editor: And me!

Diarist: Sounds quite reasonable.

Editor: How much was your last expenses claim?

Junior Reporter: What a thing to ask! I’ll have you know I’ve never claimed any expenses in my life!

All Present: Neither have we!

Editor: Good. I want to nail these people who claim expenses as if chequebook journalism was a sine qua non.

Chief News Reporter: What’s a sine qua non?

Editor: How much are you paid?

Chief News Reporter: More than Carrie Gracie but less than Stephen Fry, not as much as Lord Foulkes and the same as Guido Fawkes.

Editor: How much did Fawkes claim in expenses last year?

Deputy Features Writer: £3,000,000.

Editor: That’s a lot. Let’s expose him as a venal journalist.

All: Let’s expose him as a venal journalist!

Editor: Don’t forget to get a quote from Stephen Fry.

And with that another venal journalist was undone.

Pictured thanks to Kevglobal: the tools of the venal journalist’s trade.

 

2 Responses to “A Venal Journalist Among Venal Journalists”

Posted by:
Dillon on May 18, 2009 at 1:47 pm

What a splendid post.

Posted by:
Carrie Gracie - Radio-People on May 18, 2009 at 8:37 pm

[...] A Venal Journalist Among Venal Journalists Spada Professional Services PR Firm – PeopleRank: 21 – May 15, 2009 …Carrie Gracie but less than Stephen Fry, not as much as Lord Foulkes and the same as Guido Fawkes. Editor: How much did Fawkes claim in expenses last year? Deputy Features Writer: £3,000,000. Editor: That’s a lot. Let’s expose him as a venal jou… Cited people : Gordon Brown  + vote [...]

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Supreme Court on Twitter

February 6, 2012

Something remarkable happened today. Yes, the Supreme Court launched its Twitter feed. It even has a Twitter policy, one of caveats, disclaimers and little by way of illumination but regardless: who would have thought that the successor body to the House of Lords would stoop to engage with the world of tweets, hashtags and retweets?

We look forward to the day when court business will be conducted via Twitter. Meantime, check out this link for an excellent blog on the Supreme Court.

Not so right said Fred

February 2, 2012
fred hat

So Farewell, then, Sir Fred Goodwin.

Now you are just Fred.

Not Right Said Fred, but plain Fred.

The Forfeiture Committee did for you.

No one had heard of it before,

But Dave said it had to act, and it did.

Trouble is that no one knows what to think.

Is it ‘Alas, poor Fred‘,

Or ‘Hurray! Sir Fred is dead!’?

We don’t know.

Do you?

By A. Mob, aged 1,378 and a half.

London Goes AWOL

January 31, 2012
CNN

STOP PRESS:

Fed up with being stuck on the Thames in south-east England, London yesterday decided to move. In a dramatic gesture which augurs ill for the Olympics, the city upped sticks and relocated to East Anglia.

Lawyers were not consulted about the move, and the city’s precise motivation remains unclear. However, financiers fear that London’s decision is a sign that it wishes to downsize. Moreover, a source from London said: “We no longer want to be Britain’s seat of power. If the Scots can deregulate, why can’t we? East Anglia is a nice place where nothing happens. It’s time for a quiet life. Please respect our right to privacy.”

Elsewhere, Birmingham did not do anything, but Manchester was seen to be packing its bags. “There’s an opportunity for us,” said Manchester. “We can become London.”

East Anglia said: “We don’t mind. It’ll be refreshing to be associated with something other than fens and flatness.”

A cartologist at CNN, which broke the extraordinary news, was later fired.