Eight Reasons for Indy Hacks to be Happy

December 1, 2008

The Independent’s move to share the offices of the Mail titles in Derry Street, in Kensington, is not all bad. Here are eight reasons to be cheerful.

1. Goodbye Docklands

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Everyone says the Docklands is much better than it was. Yes, it’s really quite groovy now thank you, it’s come on loads since the bad old days and is now a really fun place to work, yes indeed.

This is a lie. It’s miles from anywhere and any business housed on the Isle of Dogs, let alone anyone who has ever walked the Greenwich footpath late at night, soon learns that despite the skyscrapers, shiny arcades and clever driverless trains the Isle of Dogs still unflinchingly lives up to its name.

2. Goodbye Fleet Street’s Worst Canteen

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If there is worse food served on Fleet Street than that which is dispensed at the Indy canteen, it was 100 years ago, when Fleet Street really was Fleet Street. Adieu, gastric upset.

Image of canteen food even worse than that which could be found at the Indy courtesy of Steven Turner on Flickr.

3. Goodbye Very Quiet Offices

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No one knows whether the Indy and Sindy came to resemble the Mary Celeste following an editorial edict or whether the prolonged suffering of their loyal hacks eventually induced a mild form of catatonia. But life at 191 Marsh Wall was quiet. Too quiet. Which is not how it’ll be over at Derry Street.

4. Goodbye Docklands Light Railway

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At last, the chance to commute on a proper train again.

5. Hello Fun (Outside Work, At Least)

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Say what you will about Kensington, it doesn’t lack for decent shops, bars and restaurants.  There’s the Greyhound, a veritable oasis of tranquillity; there’s La Bodeguita Del Medio, a fine Cuban eaterie; and there are designer boutiques at every turn. Why, just opposite Derry Street there’s even an Anne Summers. What could be better for hacks at the paper which recently ran a (very popular) story on the Ten Best Sex Toys?

6. Hello Art, Culture, Fashion

london_fashion_week_manish_arora_3.jpgSay what you will about the Isle of Dogs, it doesn’t have the Natural History Museum. Or the National Science Museum. Or, for that matter, the Serpentine Gallery. Or the V&A. Or London Fashion Week. Come to think of it, what does it have?

7. Hello Exercise

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In the old days, when the Indy was perched near the top of Canary Wharf, those of its employees with a yen for fitness could exercise in one of the airiest gyms in London. All that changed with the move to Marsh Wall. Now, just as the paper comes to share premises again comes the chance to shake off all that Christmas fat by jogging around Hyde Park of a lunchtime, nipping over to a nearby skate park for a spot of skateboarding or, of course, rubbing shoulders with frazzled right-wing moralists in Associated Newspapers’ very own swanky gym.

8.  Hello Changing of the Guard

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There remains, even for diehard liberals, something irresistibly stirring about the Changing of the Guard. Indy hacks will now, at last, be able to nip along to Buckingham Palace of a morning to witness this celebration of all that Britain holds dear. There they will also find, of course, many of Paul Dacre’s employees, perhaps even the great man himself.

And they will look upon the fearless scourge of amoral judgments, as he himself looks upon the manifestation of monarchial splendour, and say unto themselves: It’s not bad here in Kensington.

 

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Supreme Court on Twitter

February 6, 2012

Something remarkable happened today. Yes, the Supreme Court launched its Twitter feed. It even has a Twitter policy, one of caveats, disclaimers and little by way of illumination but regardless: who would have thought that the successor body to the House of Lords would stoop to engage with the world of tweets, hashtags and retweets?

We look forward to the day when court business will be conducted via Twitter. Meantime, check out this link for an excellent blog on the Supreme Court.

Not so right said Fred

February 2, 2012
fred hat

So Farewell, then, Sir Fred Goodwin.

Now you are just Fred.

Not Right Said Fred, but plain Fred.

The Forfeiture Committee did for you.

No one had heard of it before,

But Dave said it had to act, and it did.

Trouble is that no one knows what to think.

Is it ‘Alas, poor Fred‘,

Or ‘Hurray! Sir Fred is dead!’?

We don’t know.

Do you?

By A. Mob, aged 1,378 and a half.

London Goes AWOL

January 31, 2012
CNN

STOP PRESS:

Fed up with being stuck on the Thames in south-east England, London yesterday decided to move. In a dramatic gesture which augurs ill for the Olympics, the city upped sticks and relocated to East Anglia.

Lawyers were not consulted about the move, and the city’s precise motivation remains unclear. However, financiers fear that London’s decision is a sign that it wishes to downsize. Moreover, a source from London said: “We no longer want to be Britain’s seat of power. If the Scots can deregulate, why can’t we? East Anglia is a nice place where nothing happens. It’s time for a quiet life. Please respect our right to privacy.”

Elsewhere, Birmingham did not do anything, but Manchester was seen to be packing its bags. “There’s an opportunity for us,” said Manchester. “We can become London.”

East Anglia said: “We don’t mind. It’ll be refreshing to be associated with something other than fens and flatness.”

A cartologist at CNN, which broke the extraordinary news, was later fired.