Eight Reasons for Indy Hacks to be Happy

The Independent’s move to share the offices of the Mail titles in Derry Street, in Kensington, is not all bad. Here are eight reasons to be cheerful.

1. Goodbye Docklands

Everyone says the Docklands is much better than it was. Yes, it’s really quite groovy now thank you, it’s come on loads since the bad old days and is now a really fun place to work, yes indeed.

This is a lie. It’s miles from anywhere and any business housed on the Isle of Dogs, let alone anyone who has ever walked the Greenwich footpath late at night, soon learns that despite the skyscrapers, shiny arcades and clever driverless trains the Isle of Dogs still unflinchingly lives up to its name.

2. Goodbye Fleet Street’s Worst Canteen

If there is worse food served on Fleet Street than that which is dispensed at the Indy canteen, it was 100 years ago, when Fleet Street really was Fleet Street. Adieu, gastric upset.

Image of canteen food even worse than that which could be found at the Indy courtesy of Steven Turner on Flickr.

3. Goodbye Very Quiet Offices

No one knows whether the Indy and Sindy came to resemble the Mary Celeste following an editorial edict or whether the prolonged suffering of their loyal hacks eventually induced a mild form of catatonia. But life at 191 Marsh Wall was quiet. Too quiet. Which is not how it’ll be over at Derry Street.

4. Goodbye Docklands Light Railway

At last, the chance to commute on a proper train again.

5. Hello Fun (Outside Work, At Least)

Say what you will about Kensington, it doesn’t lack for decent shops, bars and restaurants.  There’s the Greyhound, a veritable oasis of tranquillity; there’s La Bodeguita Del Medio, a fine Cuban eaterie; and there are designer boutiques at every turn. Why, just opposite Derry Street there’s even an Anne Summers. What could be better for hacks at the paper which recently ran a (very popular) story on the Ten Best Sex Toys?

6. Hello Art, Culture, Fashion

Say what you will about the Isle of Dogs, it doesn’t have the Natural History Museum. Or the National Science Museum. Or, for that matter, the Serpentine Gallery. Or the V&A. Or London Fashion Week. Come to think of it, what does it have?

7. Hello Exercise

In the old days, when the Indy was perched near the top of Canary Wharf, those of its employees with a yen for fitness could exercise in one of the airiest gyms in London. All that changed with the move to Marsh Wall. Now, just as the paper comes to share premises again comes the chance to shake off all that Christmas fat by jogging around Hyde Park of a lunchtime, nipping over to a nearby skate park for a spot of skateboarding or, of course, rubbing shoulders with frazzled right-wing moralists in Associated Newspapers’ very own swanky gym.

8.  Hello Changing of the Guard

There remains, even for diehard liberals, something irresistibly stirring about the Changing of the Guard. Indy hacks will now, at last, be able to nip along to Buckingham Palace of a morning to witness this celebration of all that Britain holds dear. There they will also find, of course, many of Paul Dacre’s employees, perhaps even the great man himself.

And they will look upon the fearless scourge of amoral judgments, as he himself looks upon the manifestation of monarchial splendour, and say unto themselves: It’s not bad here in Kensington.

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