Georgina Baillie: The Conspiracy Theories

October 31, 2008

conspiracy.jpg

There are conspiracy theories, and there is the notion that the prank calls to Andrew Sachs’ answer-phone by Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand were in fact a set up, calculated to:

1. Boost sales of Brand’s various merchandise, and/or

2. Kick-start Georgina Baillie’s career in pornographic films; and/or

3. Increase BBC ratings once Brand and Ross return to the fray; and/or

4. Propel Andrew Sachs to the front of the queue for a knighthood.

All seem as outlandish as Nihilista, the newspaper devoted to some people called The Satanic Sluts.

But there is another theory doing the rounds. This posits the idea that the media seized upon the Manuelgate story, at the expense of something mundane like the US election, because after weeks of doom and gloom about the credit crunch we all needed a diversion. Indeed, at least one conspiracy theorist goes so far as to say that the BBC (including Lesley Douglas), Ross, Brand, Sachs and Baillie colluded selflessly in a deliberate ploy to lift our spirits. Is this the real truth of Manuelgate – that it was all a set-up, to put a smile on our faces?

We think we should be told. But we fear that the Sunday papers are unlikely to provide enlightenment.

 

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Supreme Court on Twitter

February 6, 2012

Something remarkable happened today. Yes, the Supreme Court launched its Twitter feed. It even has a Twitter policy, one of caveats, disclaimers and little by way of illumination but regardless: who would have thought that the successor body to the House of Lords would stoop to engage with the world of tweets, hashtags and retweets?

We look forward to the day when court business will be conducted via Twitter. Meantime, check out this link for an excellent blog on the Supreme Court.

Not so right said Fred

February 2, 2012
fred hat

So Farewell, then, Sir Fred Goodwin.

Now you are just Fred.

Not Right Said Fred, but plain Fred.

The Forfeiture Committee did for you.

No one had heard of it before,

But Dave said it had to act, and it did.

Trouble is that no one knows what to think.

Is it ‘Alas, poor Fred‘,

Or ‘Hurray! Sir Fred is dead!’?

We don’t know.

Do you?

By A. Mob, aged 1,378 and a half.

London Goes AWOL

January 31, 2012
CNN

STOP PRESS:

Fed up with being stuck on the Thames in south-east England, London yesterday decided to move. In a dramatic gesture which augurs ill for the Olympics, the city upped sticks and relocated to East Anglia.

Lawyers were not consulted about the move, and the city’s precise motivation remains unclear. However, financiers fear that London’s decision is a sign that it wishes to downsize. Moreover, a source from London said: “We no longer want to be Britain’s seat of power. If the Scots can deregulate, why can’t we? East Anglia is a nice place where nothing happens. It’s time for a quiet life. Please respect our right to privacy.”

Elsewhere, Birmingham did not do anything, but Manchester was seen to be packing its bags. “There’s an opportunity for us,” said Manchester. “We can become London.”

East Anglia said: “We don’t mind. It’ll be refreshing to be associated with something other than fens and flatness.”

A cartologist at CNN, which broke the extraordinary news, was later fired.