The Top 10 Bizarrely Named Law Firms In The World

Here at Swordplay we were struck by Susie Boyt’s affirmation of the new non-cynical zeitgeist in the weekend Financial Times.  “Six times recently at parties, I’ve seen grown men breaking into song, unprompted by me, and in an absolutely unprecedented way,” purred Ms Boyt, as a log fire crackled and everyone ate devils on horseback. She fears a return to ritualistic “doom and gloom” but so as to keep a smile on the cheery novelist’s face, here are the Top 10 Bizarrely Named Law Firms In The World.

10. Lawless & Lawless.

San Francisco is not only the home of Jamon Bollock, one of the legal profession’s most notably named individuals, but also of the Lawless sisters, Barbara and Therese, who together practise employment law at Lawless & Lawless. It is, however, unlikely that disgruntled opposing lawyers have adapted the chorus of The Clash’s famous song so that it laments “I fought the Lawless- and the Lawless won”, because this would be very silly.

Variant on The Clash’s sense of the law by Banksy.

9. Sacker & Partners.

Somehow, despite Ms Boyt’s Panglossian, party-filled take on the world, a firm called Sacker & Partners seems particularly apposite for these troubled times. Mind you, as William Gallas might have had time to find out on the weekend, having been temporarily sacked as Arsenal captain, the UK firm specialises in pensions rather than employment law.

8. Held, Held & Held.

“We won’t give up and we won’t let go” says family law firm Held, Held & Held’s website. We say: Hold That Thought.

Image courtesy of Revlimit on Flickr.

7.  Wright Hassall.

In at No. 7 is the second UK contender, and it’s no hassle, just like this scene, to put them there (sorry).

6. Butts & Johnson.

“With years of experience we have litigated cases with dedication and our client’s best interest in mind. In all, we have settled hundreds of cases.” So says the website of California law firm Butts & Johnson, a strong entry in the ‘Unintentional Rude Name’ sub-category. But do they really just have the one client?

A spokesman from Surfers Against Sewage was unable to answer this question. However, he said he hoped Butts & Johnson would not feel precluded from supporting its ‘No Butts on the Beach’ campaign.

5. Moon Beever.

Another UK contender, Moon Beever’s name rhymes with ‘Day Dreamer’, ‘Lemon Squeezer’, ‘Spoon Cleaner’ and ‘Moon Beaver’, the last of which is the name of a Bond Girl in 2018.

In the absence of formal casting for the 2018 Bond movie Momentum of Solstice, here is an image of the current Bond Girl.

4. Smart & Biggar.

Disrupting the US/UK hegemony is Canada’s Smart & Biggar. Related to Fetherstonhaugh — Canada’s largest patent agency firm — through common partners, offices and personnel, they are smart, and they’re also big.

Pictured courtesy of Geegaw on Flickr: a large car and a small couch. We doubt there’s any place for the latter at Smart & Biggar.

3.  Payne & Fears.

When we heard of national US firm Payne & Fears, we feared they might handle Personal Injury claims. If so, what, save for a firm called Ambulance & Chaser, could be worse?  But it seems their considerable expertise lies elsewhere, and so, we are relieved to note, our fears were groundless.

2. The Strange Law Firm.

“Memorable Name, Remarkable Results.” So says The Strange Law Firm’s tagline, and certainly, if you click here, you’ll learn that the firm’s eponymous founder doesn’t seem strange at all.  Which is a good thing, because for a moment we couldn’t help but be reminded of the epitaph found, in 1737, on a headstone on the North York Moors:

Here lies John Strange.

A Poor Lawyer.

That was Strange.

Photograph of Paul Strange courtesy of The Strange Law Firm.

1. I Can’t Believe It’s A Law Firm!

Don’t believe any law firm would call itself I Can’t Believe It’s A Law Firm!?  Well, Lionel Hutz did in The Simpsons, the truth is stranger than fiction, and Ronald Reagan was once the US President. You have been warned…

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