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The Top 25 Songs For The Global Financial Meltdown

October 2, 2008

Each morning here at Swordplay, we open the papers. Each morning, we are confronted by yet more gloom. Is the apocalypse upon us? We’re not sure, but we have compiled a list of the Top 25 Songs for the Global Financial Meltdown. In ascending order, they are:

25. Fool’s Gold by The Stone Roses.

Nice and funky, with a wah-wah pedal too, but there’s no getting away from the chorus:

I’m standing alone
I’m watching you all
I’m seeing you sinking
I’m standing alone
You’re weighing the gold
I’m watching you sinking
Fool’s gold

24. Nothing Lasts Forever by Echo and the Bunnymen.

Lyrically, this is not the most elaborate of compositions. However, the post-punk Liverpool band at once struck chords with Wall Street and the City – “I want it now, I want it now” – and foreshadowed the end of hope, for, as the refrain aptly has it: “Nothing lasts forever.”

23. Into the Void by Black Sabbath.

Paranoid was another contender from Ozzy Osbourne and his heavy metal colleagues – one of whom is, of course, the excellently named ‘Geezer’ Butler (on bass) – but who wouldn’t, if it were possible, accept Ozzy’s invitation to board a rocket and head for the stars? After all, he’s right when says:

Back on earth the flame of life burns low
Everywhere is misery and woe
Pollution kills the air, the land and sea
Man prepares to meet his destiny.

22. High and Dry by Radiohead.

Ah yes. Radiohead. Pioneers of the independent digital download, a move greeted with delight by music fans and despair by record companies. High and Dry is a plea by a lover not to be left alone, but there are many of us, loving or not, who would endorse the singer’s yearning not to be left, well, high and dry.

21. The Final Countdown by Europe.

The less said about this, the better.

20.  Money’s Too Tight to Mention, by The Valentine Brothers.

This song was covered by Simply Red in 1985 but we prefer the original Valentine Brothers’ version, the opening of which prompts nostalgic thoughts of the days when you might contemplate going to see your bank manager if times were hard (not much of an option now since your bank could well be bankrupt):

I been laid off from work
My rent is due
My kids all need
Brand new shoes

So I went to the bank
To see what they could do
They said son – looks like bad luck
Got-a hold on you.

19. Where Did It All Go Wrong? by Oasis.

“It’s touch and go,” say the Manchester City devotees. How right they are, though maybe not for their football club now that it’s the richest in the world. Oh, for a very rich person to bail out the global economy, as is their wont with football clubs. (Image courtesy of Anjali Knebworth on Flickr.)

18. The Rescue Blues, by Ryan Adams.

Cynicism from Mr Adams here, as he laments that no sooner is one the recipient of a bail out, than one is charged with the “rescue blues”.  Sadly, he is probably right.

17. I Think I Smell a Rat, by The White Stripes.

One for our friends in Congress.

16. What a Waste, by Ian Dury and the Blockheads.

I could be a lawyer with strategems and ruses
I could be a doctor with poultices and bruises
I could be a writer with a growing reputation
I could be the ticket man at Fulham Broadway Station.

So sang the great Ian Dury. But it was all futile. As we now know. Mind you, he also penned Reasons To Be Cheerful…

15. Lessons Learned, by Ray LaMontagne.

“All those lies were truth/And all that was false was fact“. One for Lehman Brothers?

14. Money Money Money, by Abba.

Irresistible. Inevitable. Irrefutable. But best not to win the lottery because no bank is capable of looking after all that cash anymore.

13. Hey Big Spender, by Dame Shirley Bassey.

They don’t make ‘em like this anymore – ask any economist for the reason.

12. Power of Love, by Huey Lewis and The News.

You don’t need money, don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train.

So sang the musician from New York. It is not known whether his lyrics have been of solace to unemployed City bankers.

11. Ain’t No Sunshine, by Bill Withers.

It sure seems gloomy these days… As captured by Liexxie on Flickr.

10. Cocaine Decisions, by Frank Zappa.

You are a person with a snow-job
You got a fancy gotta go job
Where the cocaine decision that you make today
Will mean that millions somewhere else
Will do it your way.

Do people in Wall Street or the City of London ever make rash decisions having chopped a line or two of coke? Frank Zappa thought so, though the only evidence we have for this is that scene in Die Hard when the silly businessman tries to negotiate with the terrorists, only to be shot dead, so it can’t be true. Can it?

9. Panic, by The Smiths.

Panic on the streets of London
Panic on the streets of Birmingham
I wonder to myself
Could life ever be sane again?

8. Waiting for the Miracle to Come, by Leonard Cohen.

Say no more.

7. Hanging Around, by The Stranglers.

A condition we’d better get used to.

6. An Honest Mistake, by The Bravery.

But was it? Click here to decide.

5. It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine), by REM.

As we enter the Top Five, this REM classic – inspired by Dylan’s Subterranean Homesick Blues – is a must. But note its parenthetical coda – is there still hope?

4. The End, by The Doors.

Our hopes are dashed. Here is Jim Morrison with news that even if the world’s finance markets recover, the Oedipus complex will kill us all.

3. I Will Survive, by Gloria Gaynor.

But wait, what’s this? In at No. 3, just when we thought it was all over, is the indefatigable Ms Gaynor. (Image courtesy of Brittle Bone.)

2. All Blues, by Miles Davis.

Despite Gloria’s efforts, our mood cannot but be sombre. Yes, we’ve just finished reading the morning’s papers. We think we’ll survive, but we can’t help but feel downcast. The genius of Miles Davis reflects our distinctly bluesy mood.

1. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? by Cole Porter.

There’s nothing for it. Hard times are ahead, and they’re only going to get worse. Double-hard, even. But we never wanted to be rich anyway. There is a certain poetry to a life with no money, no job, no future. Oh yes. Click this link for Cole Porter’s masterpiece from High Society – and this one for a more modern take on the film by Debbie Harry and Iggy Pop.