hmmm
All I really knew was that I had found the perfect place on the perfect wave, and I had remained there endlessly. Forever.
Allan Weisbecker, from In Search of Captain Zero: A Surfer’s Road Trip Beyond the End of the Road.
Top Lawyer Jokes
July 30, 2009
Lawyer jokes – you’ve gotta love ‘em. Here, as Jojo contemplates a lightbulb (courtesy of Doll Doll), are some of the best.
1. Lawyers and Lightbulbs.
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many can you afford?
2. Lawyers and Used Car Salesmen.
What are lawyers for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
3. Lawyers and Terrorism.
What did the terrorist who hi-jacked a plane full of lawyers do?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.
4. Lawyers and Sharks.
Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
5. Lawyers and Hell.
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
Another lawyer.
6. Lawyers and Social Functions.
A doctor and a lawyer were at a party when a man approached the doctor and asked for some advice about a heart condition. After mumbling some helpful words, the doctor turned to the lawyer and said: “How do you handle being asked for professional advice at social functions?” The lawyer replied: “Just send the bill for the advice.”
Next morning the doctor issued a $50 bill to the man with the heart condition. The same day he received a $100 bill from the lawyer.
7. Lawyers and Drink Driving.
Late one night, on a deserted road, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the centre of the road. They collide. There is extensive damage, but neither driver is hurt. They both get out. One of the drivers is a doctor, while the other is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his mobile and learns they’ll be on the scene in 20 minutes. It’s cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts, drinks thirstily and hands it back to the lawyer, who puts it away.
Aren’t you also going to have a drink?
the doctor says.
“After the police arrive,” says the lawyer.
8. Lawyers and Lawyer Jokes.
What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don’t think they’re funny – and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.
Blog Functions
Archives
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
Recent Posts
Recent Comments
- Penelope Swift: Doubtless Blade would contend...
- Penelope Swift: That is creative, not curious,...
If
you find our information useful and would like to receive updates feel free
to subscribe via RSS or Email.
Thought for the day
In Joust
About Spada
Knowledge Bank
In this article, Gavin Ingham Brooke and Rohit Grover of Spada examine the importance of marketing and PR in a downturn. This article was originally published in Solicitors Journal, Practice Management Supplement, 28 April 2009, and has been reproduced by kind permission.
Environmental Reporting: Trends in FTSE 100 Sustainability Reports
In the latest of our series of white papers, Spada Research examines trends in environmental reporting. The white paper is available for download here.
Now available for download here is Spada’s latest white paper. Entitled ‘The Laity Bytes Back’, the paper looks at Web 2.0 and the professions.
In this paper, published in the International Journal of Business and Economics, David Brock, Tal Yaffe and Mark Dembovsky scrutinise large law firms, their strategies and measures of their effectiveness.
In this article, Gavin Ingham Brooke, MD of Spada, looks at how US law firms should approach hiring a UK PR agency. The piece is reproduced from Strategies – The Journal of Legal Marketing by kind permission of the Legal Marketing Association.
Towards 2012 – The New Legal Landscape
Spada’s white paper on the impact of the Legal Services act is now available to download here. The research recently featured on the front page of the Law Society Gazette.
Information Inflation: Can the Legal System Adapt?
George L. Paul, a partner in Lewis and Roca, LLP and Jason R. Baron, Director of Litigation at the National Archives and Records Administration, discuss the “new inflationary dynamic” of information in this article from the Richmond Journal of Law and Technology. How do vast quantities of new writing forms challenge the legal profession, and how should lawyers adapt?
To suggest material for inclusion in Knowledge Bank, please e-mail us at spada@spada.co.uk or call + 44 207 269 1430