Wry Smile at Must-Read Summary

February 22, 2010

Richer

Amid reports that certain guardians of linguistic propriety have launched a campaign to prohibit the use of the cliched formula “a wry smile” (as in, “He allowed himself a wry smile as the opposition crumbled”, or “In such circumstances of disquiet, not to say discombobulation, only a wry smile is permissible”), we cannot but summon a wry smile as we encounter the New Statesman’s “Ten must-read pieces from the Sunday papers.”

Who must read them? Why must they read them? What will happen when they read them? Where should they read them? But most importantly, given the fractious air in most newspapers, how should they read them? Online, on a laptop at home? On a PC at work? Or via a hand-held device? Surely not in antediluvian newsprint?

Here’s to an end, one day, to cliches. Mind you, perhaps the only way to avoid them is to do a Victoria Coren. And no, we don’t mean win £500,000 playing poker. Or, indeed, that one should suddenly make an adult film, another of Ms Coren’s enterprises. Still less that anyone should become a journalist. We refer instead to La Coren’s recent life without the internet, newspapers or even a mobile phone, this in preparation for a new BBC quiz called The Bubble. As she explains in the Guardian, The Bubble is a topical news show with a twist: “all contestants are locked in a secluded Lincolnshire house for four days before the programme, in order to prevent them from knowing what the news actually is.”

It seems that the experience proved interesting, if not life-changing, but what we want to know is this: were there any cliches in the house? Was it not wonderful to escape them? Imagine, four days without a wry smile or a must-read summary in sight. Surely this is possible in other places than the febrile minds of BBC producers?

 

Comments

Please submit comments to Swordplay below.

Not so right said Fred

February 2, 2012
fred hat

So Farewell, then, Sir Fred Goodwin.

Now you are just Fred.

Not Right Said Fred, but plain Fred.

The Forfeiture Committee did for you.

No one had heard of it before,

But Dave said it had to act, and it did.

Trouble is that no one knows what to think.

Is it ‘Alas, poor Fred‘,

Or ‘Hurray! Sir Fred is dead!’?

We don’t know.

Do you?

By A. Mob, aged 1,378 and a half.

London Goes AWOL

January 31, 2012
CNN

STOP PRESS:

Fed up with being stuck on the Thames in south-east England, London yesterday decided to move. In a dramatic gesture which augurs ill for the Olympics, the city upped sticks and relocated to East Anglia.

Lawyers were not consulted about the move, and the city’s precise motivation remains unclear. However, financiers fear that London’s decision is a sign that it wishes to downsize. Moreover, a source from London said: “We no longer want to be Britain’s seat of power. If the Scots can deregulate, why can’t we? East Anglia is a nice place where nothing happens. It’s time for a quiet life. Please respect our right to privacy.”

Elsewhere, Birmingham did not do anything, but Manchester was seen to be packing its bags. “There’s an opportunity for us,” said Manchester. “We can become London.”

East Anglia said: “We don’t mind. It’ll be refreshing to be associated with something other than fens and flatness.”

A cartologist at CNN, which broke the extraordinary news, was later fired.

An excellent ad if ever there was one

January 25, 2012
legovader

We seem to be visually led this week but sometimes words proliferate far too much and letting an image do the talking is no bad thing. That’s another way of saying that ACCESS Agency’s work with Lego is absolutely top drawer.